Tag Archive: Love


Chivalry

Chivalry…

 oh boy… man I have run this over and over in my head most of the day, after reading an article/blog that was shared on Facebook (why chivalry is dead from a mans perspective) this article/blog for me was an interesting read that made quite a few good points. Other parts were a bit off… but on the whole I thought it made a good overall point.

   Ok for a moment let’s just get beyond the history of the word, chivalry, I mean ok yes everyone who wants to run chivalry through the mud will bring up images of oppressive knights on powerful horses as they do evil things to prove they are great warriors and good knights, all the while looking down on their ladies as prizes and “things” or objects to own or to win over. They will also tell you that it is power trip to show women are helpless and need men to do things for them…  fast forward to today…

  Between our marriage laws and our president it is clear we are far from the dark ages… I am trying hard not to drag this out to much as I can tend to be rather full of myself and try hard to make my point clear 🙂 

  But ok back to today, and my thoughts on Chivalry and even this article/blog… he made some pretty good points about the direction our society is going and maybe even hurt some feelings with that. Some of what he said did come off a bit on the, poor me I’m a good guy side, no one ever likes being friend zoned for the bad boys and then having the girl cry to you that she cannot find a “good” guy… but again that is not what this is about…  I read over the comments about how sexist this guy was… and how oppressive his point of view was… I also read the comments when people stood up for him and said that they liked the way he thought and saw nothing wrong with it… then reading further as they got bashed for what they believed.

  So umm ok I am confused when are we aloud to be judgmental and tell people what they think and feel is wrong and when are we not? When is it we are able to look at someone and say you are stupid for thinking this or feeling like this even though this is your own person choice about how you want to be treated and how you are treating others…

  Reading this… I see respect not oppression… I see values and morals… at least from his perspective. let me take a second and define something this definition is per the ever knowing interwebs : Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s sex or gender. Sexist attitudes may stem from traditional stereotypes of gender roles, and may include the belief that a person of one sex is intrinsically superior to a person of the other.”  so ok let’s look at this and the way he wrote this… I do not see him saying men are superior, in fact he states that he collected his values from the women whom he seemingly looks up to. Second he ends this with women hold all the cards… granted he is referring to sex, but he is stating that if they want higher standards in men they have to make them have them. That today as he sees it, women do not. Again I think some of the ways he got his point across are bit questionable… but no where do I see him saying, what is up with these girls… they know they cannot afford their own food, why can’t they just let me buy it.

 

 Now, holding open the door, pulling out a chair, walking on the traffic side of the street, these things are courtesy. Same thing you do for elders, it is a sign or respect. I mean yeah every guy knows from all the late night “fail” videos on YouTube a girl/woman can take a face plant as well as a man and shake it off… and seeing those men on the tables hooked up the with electrodes to simulate labor after which they are a pile of drooling jelly, the look on their faces was priceless as they realized just how tough their wives were through their own tear streaked eyes… I mean this is the information age, we know if a car splashes in a puddle and soaks us you are ever as able to take it to the face as I am… and we know you are just as able to pull your chair out and or stand and wait for me to sit before you do. Trust us we know you can take care of yourself and buy your own food, we also know that you can buy your own flowers. Knowing that… I still would like to do this for you… because you are weak or because I want to show power over you?  hell no… because I am attracted to you… because I like you… because I want to spend time to get to know you. I mean if you ever want to come wash my dishes, or try to get some of the stains out of my clothes I would be more than…. hahaha got you… just kidding lol thought you had me huh 🙂 but honestly ladies… this is a respect thing. And yes I said ladies… why? because it is my blog and I am a straight guy lol but this works for any gender in any relationship… if someone asks you out it means they are interested… if someone tries to buy you a drink do you get mad and rant that you can buy your own shit and go off on them? sure you can… go ahead… lol but why? it’s an ice breaker to try to spend time with you… someone from a distance noticed you were pretty and wanted to talk to you. and yes I know I will get talked to about why does it have to be about looks… how does he know he likes me… well he cannot see your soul and he cannot get to know you without talking to you, and well he tried to break the ice and do just that but you went off… and depending on what you do next after he makes that attempt to communicate, he or no other guy within 40 ft, may get that chance or want too for that matter.

 

  Ok so now that I may get blasted further… those that are chomping at the bit calling me a sexist so and so… ya know… some ladies… and men even… want to be treated this way.  Some women want a man who will be more dominant… who will take care of them… who will do things for them… then some guys will put a leash on and let his girl lead him around the house like a dog… to each their own lol. Everyone has a different view of what they want and or desire… I just do not understand in the world we live in where everyone is supposed to be so open and honest… where everyone is not suppose to judge or look down on anyone else… where we are supposed to be accepting of different religions, and sexual preferences, different class types, all of the above… those that fight the labels the most seem to be the ones who help reinforce new ones. Who beat down anyone who want to keep what they see as “traditional” beliefs…

 

  I respect everyone’s right to think and feel how they wish… but how is it when someone wants to do something they see as being nice and proper labeled as chivalry… and then others say, “hey I like that… that guy is speaking the truth.” that we can jump all over them and push our ideas of gender roles and sexism and knights and horses on them…

 

  My grandfather when I was little told me to never ask a girl out unless I was willing to pay her way, and I said why grandpa is it cause she is a girl? he said no son… because you asked her… she did not ask you.  Talk about making it simple.

 

  Would I buy a guy friend of mine dinner…  yes… would I buy another couple dinner… yes… do I stand normally until everyone is seated? yes… is this a power trip hahaha hell no… this is love.  I love people and would like to make them happy… sometimes people do not feel they are enough… sometimes they feel like doing things and buying things for people is a good way to show they care because they just cannot find the words… sometimes… little boys look at knights like the hero of a story… and would love to have a girl look at him like he is the hero… why? because he is the boss? because he is the man and she cannot do it herself?… no… sometimes because simply he wants to be loved.  We have to stop making everything negative… in the end there will  be no colors… no genders… just a grey dull world with no diversity and no choices… everyone will think and feel the same way… because they have no choice.

 

  call me sexist all day long 🙂 but chivalry the 21st century version that does not involve repression lol will live on!!! 

 

  *please note that I was interrupted many times while writing this and I am really bad at proof reading… also yes I have a mild addiction to “…” and well this is my blog and I am ok with that… and I have been told over and over to love yourself just as you are ;)”

 

  Smile… life it to short to run around trying to make everyone else happy… find what you like and do it… and above all else… find a way to love yourself. 

Yeah ok who am I to tell anyone the key to life? I’m no prophet or yogi… I’m not a learned scholar… heck I still rely on spell check for grammar and spelling issues way too often, and I still get it wrong… But I digress. I really should get this all out before I lose my thought…

 

 

An easy Google search tells me that a Key by definition is:

 

a. A notched and grooved, usually metal implement that is turned to open or close a lock.

b. A similar device used for opening or winding: the key of a clock; a can that has a key attached.

2. A means of access, control, or possession.

a. A vital, crucial element.

b. A set of answers to a test.

c. A table, gloss, or cipher for decoding or interpreting.

 

And there is more but this serves my purpose

 

 So as we see… a key, simply put, is a way to gain access to something: access to knowledge, access to a place, access to time (the key to a clock).

 

 Getting access to knowledge, places, people, and things… well that is what we do in life, is it not? So the best way to do these things is to live life… by a stretch of my already stretched imagination… to live… to really live is the key of life…

door

 

  The picture above looks very foreboding, metal grate fastened over a window with wire running through the glass… perfect for keeping people in or out. With only a small view as the one pictured, it would make you think moving forward was hopeless, but with a step back, (no picture sorry) we can find that the window is attached to a door. The point I want to make there is sometimes we are much too close to a problem we have in life… maybe sometimes we have to take a few steps back and the way will seem much more clear. There are times I feel that we move through life way too fast and we do not slow down to actually enjoy it… so we come up on our problems so quickly we never see them coming, and then we feel so rushed to get through them, we do not take the time to step back and make clear decisions. Maybe one of the keys to life should be to slow down, and do not be afraid to go back from time to time… maybe you missed something you should have seen.

different

 

   All of us are human, we may look different and talk different but we are all here for the same basic reason, to live life and learn as we go. We come in different colors, shapes and sizes… it’s a beautiful diversity that makes us as humans a beautiful thing.

differentsame

 

   But with that being said… many of us at a glance can seem very alike… but if you look close and take the time to actually see each person for who they are—their likes and dislikes, the things they are passionate about—you will see that even though they may seem to be the same, each person holds the keys to different locks. Each person can bring something different to your life and break open a new part of life you may never knew existed.

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  Many people have a clear path and are good with things from birth… others seem to struggle trying to find their place… much like the keys in the picture above, one has been cut and fits a specific lock. The other is still blank, and although it was never cut to go into any one lock, you can see the age on it and know it has lived a long life. People are like that… some are really good at one specific thing; others never really find that one thing they are awesome at. Jack of all trades and master of none… it does not make one better than any other… it simply makes them different.

stop

 

Everyone wants to know the key to the secrets of life… but I think the memories we make with the people we know and love are the best keys we have. It is a key to a memory of a moment in time where you were happy or sad or whatever emotion you remember… it is a key to a moment in time that you lived. Living… is for this guy… the key to life. Take your keys wherever you go… in the form of memories and remember to make new ones and live for today… tomorrow is never promised to any of us.

 

 

   Smile… it might be the only key to unlocking the smile trapped inside someone else.

Four points of view that change how we see ourselves…

 

First word is an excuse used by many people to justify why they do not do something… It is a way to promote failure before you ever try, a way to beat yourself into believing a lie… oh I just can’t possibly to that… I can’t do math… I can’t play basketball…

 

The next word is something society and people around us slowly filter into our heads until we believe it as truth, School books, doctors, parents and even friends will sometimes think they are helping by telling you that a dream or a goal is impossible… sometimes they can be right and I would never ever tell anyone to go against anything a doctor tells them. But what I would say is that if you can afford it and it is possible, to get a second opinion on anything you feel strongly about. Many times we see things that we think are impossible for our self, and we tell others that it must be for them too. Some people lack the will power or the fortitude to push or go forward, then without even knowing it projecting that inability on to others. Sometimes we want to protect those we know and love from failure so we try to encourage them to not even try feats that for most seem impossible. This is not done out of malice or hate, it is sometimes done out of love or kindness and with the best of intentions. But the problem is if we never fail we never grow… and what might be impossible for you might just be possible for them. We have all been given a different measure of ability and gumption… it is what makes us diverse and amazing creatures.

 

Then we have *unable*… I am unable to do that… you will now not be unable to run or walk or play normally. I understand that these words are close and can be interchanged. I am writing this with the mind set of how I hear them the most in my life and in what way I have seen them used. Most doctors do not say… “You can’t do this or that…” they are more technical… “Because of your blah blah blah, your body is unable to handle… unable to bend… unable to move that way ever again.” Now I must repeat I would never tell anyone to ignore anything that a doctor says. Please do not get me wrong here… I feel all doctors have to go on is what they see… x-rays, and numbers from tests… what they cannot see spirit and drive… is sometimes what allows us to do thing we normally could not. Doctors do not want you to hurt yourself and do not want you to make an injury worse. So they will 99% of the time speak on the side of caution. The way the world is, if a doctor says you can do something and you get hurt they will be blamed and many times in this day and age might get taken to court… so I do not blame them for wanting to limit their patients so as to make sure they are not hurt. And if you are able to do more than expected… well it’s a miracle. Normally a doctor can only go on what is “normal” for your injury and your test results, from there they make educated guesses… it is not an exact science because we are not all the same, each one of us are different in one way or another… part of the reason why I like how they call it “Practicing” medicine…

 

And finally… Chicken Shit, It’s used to help grow veggies, and fruits… to make flowers beautiful… and grass greener when used properly. But when there is too much… it can kill all plant life and leave everything withering and dying and burnt… Chicken shit… Can’t… impossible… unable… all of these things when used to much can leave us withering and dying… but if used as fuel, to help fertilize our motivation and push us to grow… these words can make us stronger so we can blossom into maybe not what the world would see as perfect, but maybe if we work hard enough we can become extra ordinary. Being chicken shit is not always a bad thing… you just have to decide what it is you are scared of… pain?… failure?… ridicule… and sometimes we are scared of none of those things. Sometimes we are scared we may succeed, because once we do, no one will cut us a break anymore. No one will look at us and be easy and give us pity. Whether we like to admit it or not we all sometimes just want to lay back and do nothing and have people look at us and tell us that it is ok. To use what others would call a weakness be it our injury, birth defect, and mental limitations as an excuse to not do or be 100% of what we can. To lay back and say I can’t do that because it is impossible. I am unable to move/think that way and because I am chicken shit. To have people look at us and say, “Oh, it is ok… really we understand, and do not blame you on bit… we could not do it either and we don’t have your limitations.” Sometimes we just want to hear that it is ok not to try… that is Chicken Shit.

 

I’m blessed… I may have had a ton of work between meniscus tears and a blown ACL, collar bone broken in two places, double hernia in my lower abdomen, spent a good deal of time in the hospital as a baby with pneumonia, had the Forest Gump braces because of severe bowing and pigeon toed as my legs were developing, fractures to my skull, concussions, and a couple broken noses… there is more but cry me a river all of that was a blessing and I’m tired of thinking about all the negative stuff, each of these things made me stronger in other ways… but forget about all of that… I am blessed… I can walk upright without any disfigurement, I have all of my arms and my legs, all of my digits, and all 5 of my senses work well. My brain although scrambled at times and can get me in trouble is what I consider one of my best attributes and my heart, though over worked at times, helps me care about almost everyone around me. (Let’s not debate feelings being a chemical reaction in your brain this is figurative) I am blessed to be healthy enough to do the things I do… I have been told I am not allowed to run because I need at least one knee replacement and the other is close… I have been told that swimming and cycling are pretty much the only things I can do but even then I should take it easy *snicker*. But then they messed up, after I was told to take it easy they followed it up by saying, “You can really do as much as you want… it just depends on how much pain you’re willing to live with. You are too young to get a knee replacement at this time so your best bet is to just take it easy and hope science can catch up to you… and of course lose some weight to relieve a lot of the pressure on your joints.” Wait what? I can do anything? That was all I heard… ok it’s going to hurt… but I can do anything? Hahaha GAME ON!

 

So I have done a couple things here and there… a few really tough things to be honest although this is not about me or about what I have done. I have other blessings in the form of the amazing support system I have in my friends and family. I also think back to the very first MS150 that I had ever done… I was dying it felt like, and thinking how stupid it was… that I raised the money and there was no point in putting myself through this, it was hot and everything hurt and is was tired… I was just done; I had hit the wall (figuratively). Then I heard a voice say… “On your left!” someone was going to pass me but the voice was a bit low… it must be a recumbent bike I thought to myself… and then I saw him as he cruised by me with a strained smile and a nod… peddling his bike with his hands because he had no legs. I had never seen that before! I was new to cycling for the most part, but I had to stop myself from staring like a fool. As I watched him truck along by me and put more distance between us, it hit me like a wall of ice water and I teared up a little to be honest. What in God’s name did I have to complain about, I just got passed by a guy who had no legs, and he did it with a smile and a nod. Not a grouchy get out of my way… but an “on your left…” and a good job… keep it up… nod and smile. I got a little angry at myself, not at letting someone with no legs pass me, but at being “healthy” and complaining that I tired. It was not out loud and I was only complaining to myself, but really, what did I have to complain about? I finished that day, it was not easy, and I am sure that man has no idea the affect and inspiration he was to me that day. I had an obligation to do it for those who could not. MS strips people’s ability to do things for themselves… I had no reason to complain.

 

I won’t go into why I do so many of the things I do now and the inspiration behind it. I want this to be about the people I think of when I start feeling tired and I start feeling like I have nothing left to give… I will just give you 3 examples but there are so many others…

 

 amanda-269x300amanda2amanda

First is a girl I started following on facebook, Amanda Sullivan I will let you read her back story in the links I have posted at the end of the blog. She is an amazing person, upbeat and the true meaning of inspiration. She does not let anything stop her, and if it does she just trains harder. Amanda is someone I have followed on facebook for a while, when I was attempting my last few challenges she came to mind. A couple times I was thinking about what she is able to do, and thinking about all the people she promotes on her facebook the men and women who have lost limbs or senses and are pushing forward to do extraordinary things. But not only that, they are so supportive of not only those who are like themselves in many ways, but of anyone who are trying. She is without a doubt one of the most amazing people I follow and she has a true warrior’s heart, with the kindness of an angel. I was blessed to have found her and to be able to just read about her adventures and use that to help me drive my own. I wanted to share her spirit with anyone who reads this… follow her on Facebook and help support her in what she does. If anyone deserves it, she does.

 

ashleyash1ash2

The next person I met online and because friends with through a blog sight, she has an amazing heart and well for a long time I never knew she had a disability lol… and I laugh here because well there is nothing about her that says disability. She is one of the most able people I know. I would say she is normal, but she is not… in this day in age normal has become the people begging for money or assistance because they have a disability and should be taken care of. I have followed her blogs, and her life across the US and back again… shared in her heart break as well as some of my own… she has never, not one time, in my years of knowing her used what happened to her to gain an advantage and use it as a crutch.

 

She told me,

 

“Yeah, I really dislike for people to categorize me as “Ashley, the girl that lost her leg. Or battled cancer.” I want them to see me as much more than that. As just myself. Not what has happened to me. So, for that reason I don’t bring it up or let or “control” my life. Which I have seen a lot of”

 

When she was a teen she had a cancer that lead to surgery that led to complications and her loss of a leg. Can you imagine… a teenage girl going through all of that on top of all the stuff teenage girls already go through? (I have a 17 year old daughter I can’t imagine that) But she beat the cancer… and now has such a great attitude, rides horses, has recently become a gym rat… dances… I really have not seen anything physical hold her back. There are some restrictions she says, but most of it would come from the material the leg is made out of more so than her own physical issues. As someone I have gotten to know over the years who is a dear dear friend and someone I hold in the highest regard, she is kind and has not let any of the words above limit her life.

 

The third person is famous in his own right his name is Nick Vujicic and I do not know him personaly (so I have not added any photos) and have never spoken to him in email or otherwise, but I watch his YouTube videos often when I need a lift. This guy was born with more issues than anyone deserves, no arms and no legs. But I do not think you would ever hear him mutter any of those words I listed above. I will put a link here to one of his videos and a link to his channel and we pages bellow. He is a motivational speaker, trying to show people that even when life gives you a bad hand there is always hope.

 

I think I have went on enough… but before you think about using the 4 things in the title, think about the people I have listed and the thousands of others just like them… the wounded warriors… special Olympians… Paralympians… think off all these people before you look anyone in the eye and say… “I can’t…” “I’m unable…” “It’s impossible…” and then stop to think about exactly why it is that your “chicken shit”! Are you afraid to fail? Or are you really afraid you will succeed!

 

Nick:

 

You tube: https://www.youtube.com/user/NickVujicicAIA/featured

Web: http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NickVujicic

 

Ashley:

 

Blog: http://southerngrl85.blogspot.com/

 

Amanda:

 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gdHTIGISHwCWa38ADaqnw

Blog: http://blog.spartanrace.com/overcoming-obstacles-amanda-sullivan/

Instagram: http://instagram.com/Crutching_Tigress/#

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AmandaSullivanSmiles/timeline

 

bru

 

So Just a quick update on Sir Bruno the wonder dog…

 

Called the vet this morning around 8am when they opened, and he is doing much better. He was bright and alert and met them at the door of his kennel even wiggling his little butt. Still drooling a good bit but in much better shape.

 b4

They are going to discuss taking out the catheter and going to solid (soft) food and water today. The vet stressed they are still guarded with their prognosis because he is not out of the woods yet. But you could hear it in her voice; she was hopeful as we are too.

 b2

He seems to have a lot of strength in him and a ton of love flooding in from all over the place.

 b3

So in light of that I wanted to just post an update and share some pictures

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Follow Bruno on Istagram: @SirBrunobt

 

Or on my daughter’s fundraising page for him:

 

 Hope For Bruno

 

 

Pictures take by my daughter… as you can see before he got sick she had a lot of fun with him… and then I tried to get him after we were both tired out lol Nap buddies

welcome back scribblers! todays challenge requires you to answer 3 questions. you must choose one of the alternatives.. pick the one that you are more of the time. don’t proceed till you’ve answered the 3 questions.

1) are you happy.. or are you melancholy?

2)are you terse.. or are you wordy?

3) are you a poem person.. or a prose person?

 got your 3 answers? good.. now write something just opposite.

if you are a happy terse poet.. Write some melancholy wordy prose. if you are a melancholy wordy prose person write a happy terse poem. Got it?

   yes, this will take you out of your comfort zone.. but creative writing is about growing.. trying new things. you can do this.

1:  Melancholy

2:  Wordy

3:  Prose

 

 

  Ugh so I have to write a happy terse poem….

 

  Oh this is defiantly going to be a stretch for me, and just because of that I will lay it on thick!

 

   All natural…

 

  Sunshine warming…

  Butterflies swarming…

  Soft breeze enveloping you…

 

  Spring time blooming…

  Lovers swooning…

  Kisses soft and new…

 

  A new day dawns…

  Giving birth to fawns…

  Mother Nature at her best…

 

  New Love spawns…

  A child yawns…

  As he lays down to rest.

 

    Yeah yeah I know… it has no real point except being happy but I pushed through lol

Anti-Social Network…

 Anti-Social network…

 

 

  I have taken a bit of a breather from any big social networking stuff and my blog. I guess I needed to step away and disconnect a little bit. Take a breather from all the 000 111 of the internet.

 

Recently we had a huge vote in our state that involved a hot topic, and our state actually got national attention because of this. I stayed up late to watch as all the votes come in, and as I networked my but off on Facebook and talked to all my like minded family and friends, I argued, fought with, and yelled at those on my “friends” list that did not agree with me. I mean come on we all know I am right and the whole world is wrong unless you happen to agree with what I say… after all I am great in mind… body… soul… ok ok maybe great in body only because of my girth… only great in mind because my mind is a reflection of my friends and other who have taught me many things over my short (or not so short) lifetime… and great in soul because I have been touched so deeply many times by the love and compassion of others. But wait a second… I have been touched by love and compassion but I argued and actually called people a fool and heartless and many many more things for not seeing things just as I did? That is not love and it sure is not compassion… I was yelling at people for not having the same thing I was not giving them. Did I still think I was right? Of course I do… but how exactly can you yell at someone and call them stupid or a bigot and tell them they should love as you do? Hummm…. Kinda makes you think a little… who was the hypocrite there?

 

I am not making this blog a political platform… I absolutely refuse to do that. My friends, my family, my co-workers, and all the rest of the people I have been blessed with knowing in my life are as diverse as any group you will ever meet. It’s in their diversity that I find my home, because my likes and the things I find passion in are so different that it takes a team no… an army of diversity to keep me occupied. So with that said how can I alienate these people? How can I call someone out and tell them that opinion is wrong? That only mine is right… that they are taking someone else’s freedom away while I am trying to take away theirs?

 

Does that mean I have to give over and not believe in what I believe? No… but on the other hand in the end you have to agree to disagree. We live in a semi free country where great men and women die for things they believe in all the time. Democracy although skewed at times is the best way to get things across… although it can be bloody and a long and hard road… slavery… women’s rights… things like this did not happen overnight and they did not get reversed overnight. And in many cases still have to fight to keep equal rights.

 

Social networks have made it so easy to reach out and connect with people all the time… smart phones keep you connectected 24 hours a day. We have been assimilated (star trek reference and yes I am a dork that is another fork in my diverse tree). But with this social net work we have lost our filters and we have lost some of our common sense (here I am again telling people what they do and do not have… lol part of ego I guess… but I can live with that) the filter we have at work to not look over at someone and say, “you’re a complete idiot”. We do not have that on the network… I mean after all they are reading our pages are they not?? And if they publish something that we do not like… well they did make it public so I am free to say whatever I want… as long as I am behind my computer after all in the safety of my own home or internet café. But how dare they come to my post and call me out after all if they do not like what I have to say they do not have to read it… I mean really the nerve. It makes me laugh and I can say all these things because I have used these excuses and at the time I say no flaw in my thinking… I mean after all I am a supreme genius and one of the greatest minds of my time. Only a dolt would not agree…

 

The anti-social network has taken us from our neighborhood and into the online family we find on the World Wide Web. taken us away from going out to play until the street lights come on to playing on the computer all night until the street lights go out and wondering why we are to tired and function at work and school.

 

This is not really an anti internet rant… I mean I am posting the blog on the internet and even I being the supreme genius that I am, am not that much of a hypocrite But more or less my own thoughts about myself… the flaws I have seen in me. All of these things if you read this and it hits a nerve just remember they are flaws I see in me and know that you are not alone. We need to step away from ourselves from time to time to check ourselves. To see who we are hurting and who we are loving… and sometimes we can love something to death. I think a lot of ideas die because passion gets in the way of common sense… but who am I… what do I know… well yeah I know I am the supreme genius of my time… at least in my own head… or maybe that is just one of my voices who knows.

 

If you actually read this to the end and you followed it and understood it I suggest you see a doctor and get medicated as fast as you can… 🙂 happy anti-social networking everyone…

 

  Smile… maybe if you smile hard enough it will come out in your texts, ims, and emails. 🙂

 

A year ago today…

 A year ago today I finished what has been one of the biggest moments of my life. But to understand this we need to step back a little…

 

  I joined what was at the time a small-ish blogging community online, I needed a place to vent, a place to say what I thought, and a place to lose my filter and just be me. After searching the internet I stumbled across a place called www.thoughts.com there I found more than I ever dreamed I would.

 Fast forward just a bit, after a few years of blogging I met someone there, I followed her blog and we spoke often about our different lives. I loved her adventurous spirit. For someone so young and so beautiful she had a heart of gold and she gave a lot of herself to her friends and her family. I found that she had joined the Red Cross and was in South Africa after dropping out of school and giving up her posh life in the UK to do something she believed in. Then after a while she disappeared… time went by and when she returned she had a confession. She told us that she had MS and was getting treatment; she even apologized to us for not telling anyone and not being honest. She said she just wanted to be herself and not the girl with MS like she was in her close circle of family and friends. Then I found out that her symptoms were getting bad fast, it was what the doctor told her that made her leave school and want to help people. She was told that in a few years it was likely that she would lose a good bit of motor function and would need assistance.

 My heart was broken for her, but I just tried to be the friend I always had, the times zone difference was tough but we spent many times chatting and just talking telling stories about our family and I was learning about MS and the struggles of people in Africa.

 Then she was gone… A brain tumor… and just like that one of the brightest lights I had met in the world was gone. Many of us in the ever growing blogging community were dumbfounded… our hearts heavy… changing avatars to white roses to remember our friend. I wanted to do something… I did not know what but I wanted to do something… then it hit me… I emailed the people at thoughts and asked permission to fundraise… Me just a fat factory worker… I was going to ride my bike in the local MS bike ride… it was an MS150 but that was not enough they had a 25 mile loop challenge each day so that you could ride 100 miles each day… to many people with MS cannot even walk on their own I could force myself to ride. We raised a lot of money and cried many tears… but I did it for her… I could do nothing different. I received a heartfelt email from her sister the night before my ride… I printed it and when I faltered… and I did do just that I would read it… and with misty eyes keep going.

 

 Time goes on and things change people… I blogged about my experience I talked about doing more… doing anything. And it was the following year I found out that people were truly reading and it was really having an effect on people’s lives. A blogger whom I became very close to was with me in heart and soul during all of this… forever know to most as Bootlady she decided to write an essay about me and my adventures. I won’t share that here for me it is a bit personal… maybe I would with her permission but with that essay she won me the right to go to the Thoughts.com official launch party… that trip I think was another stepping stone to really changing the course of my life. I met so many great people and I was truly over whelmed by the response to my bike ride and to the support. The people hugging me with tears in their eyes telling me I was an inspiration. Me? Just an overweight factory worker… not Lance Armstrong… not some super star… just some average guy who decided in 2007 to start blogging. Who would have ever guessed a blog could change your life.

 

 So there I sit at the launch party surrounded by people feeling overwhelmed with emotion riding the high one gets from moments like this I look over at one of the guys there and say, “ You know what… I want to do something more… Next year I will ride my bike from my home to the thoughts office… for MS and for thoughts… for all the love that you guys have shown all the money that has been donated and time I will do that!”  He (at the time I had no idea who I was really talking to) said “oh yeah? If you do it I will ride with you.” That moment changed my life forever…

Here in the man that helped me make it all real… I will never forget what you helped me do brother…

 That was the seed that started the friendship… Viktor is my brother now… we have been through a lot together.

  That night was the birth of the One Love Bike Ride… 756 miles in 7 and a half days… from New Bern, NC to Winter Garden, FL. And exactly one year ago today this was our last day; this was the day we finished this epic journey. I know people have ridden across country and people have done much more… and I am not taking anything away from them. But I am just a factory worker who is 5’8 and over 250lbs I did not use bicycle shorts… no extra padding… just me and the bike. But it’s not about me… it’s about the millions of people in this world with MS the people who cannot hold a glass of water or hug their loved ones… the people who cannot lift their head and say I Love you… this was for them. I met so many amazing people… pushed my limit so many times I don’t even know if I have a limit anymore.

  This trip forever changed me and my family… my kids know that nothing is impossible if you believe and hold others needs above your own… this know that love and passion make this life worth living not money and stuff. This, for me, is a bitter sweet day for one year ago I finish a journey of a life time… and today I sit here and I am able to write about it and I cannot help but wonder…. What’s next…?

 

   Smile… when you do the love in your soul is able to come out and touch everyone around you and that is beautiful.

  P.S.  When the doctor tells you that you can’t I would never tell you that you should not listen to him… but my body told me I could… and I did, even slightly broken.