Tag Archive: Kids


Chivalry

Chivalry…

 oh boy… man I have run this over and over in my head most of the day, after reading an article/blog that was shared on Facebook (why chivalry is dead from a mans perspective) this article/blog for me was an interesting read that made quite a few good points. Other parts were a bit off… but on the whole I thought it made a good overall point.

   Ok for a moment let’s just get beyond the history of the word, chivalry, I mean ok yes everyone who wants to run chivalry through the mud will bring up images of oppressive knights on powerful horses as they do evil things to prove they are great warriors and good knights, all the while looking down on their ladies as prizes and “things” or objects to own or to win over. They will also tell you that it is power trip to show women are helpless and need men to do things for them…  fast forward to today…

  Between our marriage laws and our president it is clear we are far from the dark ages… I am trying hard not to drag this out to much as I can tend to be rather full of myself and try hard to make my point clear 🙂 

  But ok back to today, and my thoughts on Chivalry and even this article/blog… he made some pretty good points about the direction our society is going and maybe even hurt some feelings with that. Some of what he said did come off a bit on the, poor me I’m a good guy side, no one ever likes being friend zoned for the bad boys and then having the girl cry to you that she cannot find a “good” guy… but again that is not what this is about…  I read over the comments about how sexist this guy was… and how oppressive his point of view was… I also read the comments when people stood up for him and said that they liked the way he thought and saw nothing wrong with it… then reading further as they got bashed for what they believed.

  So umm ok I am confused when are we aloud to be judgmental and tell people what they think and feel is wrong and when are we not? When is it we are able to look at someone and say you are stupid for thinking this or feeling like this even though this is your own person choice about how you want to be treated and how you are treating others…

  Reading this… I see respect not oppression… I see values and morals… at least from his perspective. let me take a second and define something this definition is per the ever knowing interwebs : Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s sex or gender. Sexist attitudes may stem from traditional stereotypes of gender roles, and may include the belief that a person of one sex is intrinsically superior to a person of the other.”  so ok let’s look at this and the way he wrote this… I do not see him saying men are superior, in fact he states that he collected his values from the women whom he seemingly looks up to. Second he ends this with women hold all the cards… granted he is referring to sex, but he is stating that if they want higher standards in men they have to make them have them. That today as he sees it, women do not. Again I think some of the ways he got his point across are bit questionable… but no where do I see him saying, what is up with these girls… they know they cannot afford their own food, why can’t they just let me buy it.

 

 Now, holding open the door, pulling out a chair, walking on the traffic side of the street, these things are courtesy. Same thing you do for elders, it is a sign or respect. I mean yeah every guy knows from all the late night “fail” videos on YouTube a girl/woman can take a face plant as well as a man and shake it off… and seeing those men on the tables hooked up the with electrodes to simulate labor after which they are a pile of drooling jelly, the look on their faces was priceless as they realized just how tough their wives were through their own tear streaked eyes… I mean this is the information age, we know if a car splashes in a puddle and soaks us you are ever as able to take it to the face as I am… and we know you are just as able to pull your chair out and or stand and wait for me to sit before you do. Trust us we know you can take care of yourself and buy your own food, we also know that you can buy your own flowers. Knowing that… I still would like to do this for you… because you are weak or because I want to show power over you?  hell no… because I am attracted to you… because I like you… because I want to spend time to get to know you. I mean if you ever want to come wash my dishes, or try to get some of the stains out of my clothes I would be more than…. hahaha got you… just kidding lol thought you had me huh 🙂 but honestly ladies… this is a respect thing. And yes I said ladies… why? because it is my blog and I am a straight guy lol but this works for any gender in any relationship… if someone asks you out it means they are interested… if someone tries to buy you a drink do you get mad and rant that you can buy your own shit and go off on them? sure you can… go ahead… lol but why? it’s an ice breaker to try to spend time with you… someone from a distance noticed you were pretty and wanted to talk to you. and yes I know I will get talked to about why does it have to be about looks… how does he know he likes me… well he cannot see your soul and he cannot get to know you without talking to you, and well he tried to break the ice and do just that but you went off… and depending on what you do next after he makes that attempt to communicate, he or no other guy within 40 ft, may get that chance or want too for that matter.

 

  Ok so now that I may get blasted further… those that are chomping at the bit calling me a sexist so and so… ya know… some ladies… and men even… want to be treated this way.  Some women want a man who will be more dominant… who will take care of them… who will do things for them… then some guys will put a leash on and let his girl lead him around the house like a dog… to each their own lol. Everyone has a different view of what they want and or desire… I just do not understand in the world we live in where everyone is supposed to be so open and honest… where everyone is not suppose to judge or look down on anyone else… where we are supposed to be accepting of different religions, and sexual preferences, different class types, all of the above… those that fight the labels the most seem to be the ones who help reinforce new ones. Who beat down anyone who want to keep what they see as “traditional” beliefs…

 

  I respect everyone’s right to think and feel how they wish… but how is it when someone wants to do something they see as being nice and proper labeled as chivalry… and then others say, “hey I like that… that guy is speaking the truth.” that we can jump all over them and push our ideas of gender roles and sexism and knights and horses on them…

 

  My grandfather when I was little told me to never ask a girl out unless I was willing to pay her way, and I said why grandpa is it cause she is a girl? he said no son… because you asked her… she did not ask you.  Talk about making it simple.

 

  Would I buy a guy friend of mine dinner…  yes… would I buy another couple dinner… yes… do I stand normally until everyone is seated? yes… is this a power trip hahaha hell no… this is love.  I love people and would like to make them happy… sometimes people do not feel they are enough… sometimes they feel like doing things and buying things for people is a good way to show they care because they just cannot find the words… sometimes… little boys look at knights like the hero of a story… and would love to have a girl look at him like he is the hero… why? because he is the boss? because he is the man and she cannot do it herself?… no… sometimes because simply he wants to be loved.  We have to stop making everything negative… in the end there will  be no colors… no genders… just a grey dull world with no diversity and no choices… everyone will think and feel the same way… because they have no choice.

 

  call me sexist all day long 🙂 but chivalry the 21st century version that does not involve repression lol will live on!!! 

 

  *please note that I was interrupted many times while writing this and I am really bad at proof reading… also yes I have a mild addiction to “…” and well this is my blog and I am ok with that… and I have been told over and over to love yourself just as you are ;)”

 

  Smile… life it to short to run around trying to make everyone else happy… find what you like and do it… and above all else… find a way to love yourself. 

The explanation…

 

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So first off let me tell you Bruno is doing much better, he ate his food last night as well as drank all of his water and he kept it down!! That is great news! I talked to a Tech this morning and well she seemed really optimistic but in the end it is the docs call to figure out if he can come home or not. So once the doc gets in and has time to look everything over she will make the final call. But we are excited to have him healthy and to have him home!!

So… something that has been on my mind quite a bit and I feel the need to explain. Not that I have to mind you… but I sort of want to. There are several different types of people in this world; it takes all different types to make the world the interesting and diverse place that it is… also we need each type to balance out the others, because if we were to all be the same then the world would be a dull place.

I am and I have tried my best to raise my children to be the kind of person that believes anything is possible. I am and I have tried to raise my children to know that kindness is not so much something you show to family and friends but something really you should show to all living creatures. As a child I was told I was too tenderhearted when it came to animals… I brought home sick creatures of every shape and size. I wish I have a picture of my mom’s face when I walked through the door when I was about 11-12 and I have a black snake curled all the way up my arm and partially around my neck, with its head in my hand. It had been run over by a car and I wanted to help it… lol she about flipped her lid. But being half country girl half city girl she quickly saw it was just a black snake and knew it was not going to hurt me. We did what we could and let it go… Is it silly? Probably… but I have a question… who did it hurt? Who did it hurt to show kindness to a snake… who does it hurt to show kindness to any animal.

I know I know… many people out there in the world think animals are just animals… and I get that and to them they are correct. But only to them… ask a blind man what his dog is worth to him… ask the kids in the hospital who get visited by pets and animals to help comfort them when they are sick what that animal means to them. Ask the grandparent who lost his/her spouse, and whose family no longer visit as much… ask them what that little dog/cat means to them.

Now do not get me wrong, I am not preaching… I am not soap boxing I am just explaining. I am not asking anyone to have passion for animals or anything the way that I do or my family does. And honestly I do not put an animal’s well being over that of my children or my family.

I have been asked from many places why on earth I would ever consider using this much money to make a puppy better… I have heard that I could buy 2-3 puppies for the cost it takes to heal this one, who might not even make it. I have been flat out told it is stupid what I am doing. Or that I could save the money and get another car (because at the moment we have only one). A lot of people just do not understand… and when I decided to take this on, I had decided I would sell whatever I could, or had to, to help make Bruno better.

My daughter seeing the strain it was going to put on us wanted to do something to help. And boy did she ever… and then for every person I knew that told me I was crazy. There were others who not only understood but wanted to help, with kind words, and support of many different kinds.

How much is it worth to, if for only a moment, be your child’s hero… the person that did not say no and did what they could regardless how stupid other people thought it was?

My obligation… Bruno never asked to come home with me… he never asked to get sick… he does not have the ability to make himself better. When my daughter begged me for a puppy and told me it would not cost me anything because she had the cost covered, and she was going to get a job for the other stuff and I would never even know it was there. Well I’m not stupid… I have been around the block once or twice and I knew what would end up happening. But I never could have guessed it was this. While he was not sick in his short time in our home, he quickly won over our hearts, such a little fragile puppy with teeth like razor blades… and who snored… ha-ha yup and even snorted. The stupid little dog was just too cute. My daughter was in love… I was told that we have not had time to even really be attached to it… I am not sure you can put a time frame on something like that, but we were more than attached.

My daughter has been to almost every charity event I have done over the past 8-9 years. She did not work out in the sun all day and help for a t-shirt… or to get free food… she really believes in the things I do. Be it for MS, or Cancer, Or the Human Society… she always wants to help support me. Taking pictures… giving out medals… doing whatever it takes. With her help I have raised a lot of money over the years for a bunch of awesome and well deserving organizations. I have tried to teach her how important it is to not just give money but time. And to help where you can… she has that caring spirit in her.

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So why would I agree to pay a ton of money to heal a sick dog… love… responsibility… because it is the right thing to do. Because of the gifts of family, friends, and strangers… this will not be a burden to our family at all… because of the love everyone has shown us this is one of the best learning experiences I could have ever give my children and anyone around me. Where there is a pure heart, and a will, there is a way.

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Because there are other people like us in this world, later today with tears in my daughters eyes she will see Bruno again, and the vet will tear up and the techs will tear up… but I won’t cause I am a guy and we don’t do that stuff 😉 and her mom will be blubbering like a child lol… and then I guess I will see all of this and my best explanation would be to the question of why would you pay so much to make a puppy better is… how could you not… the vet is going to walk away today and the techs… thinking to themselves as they wipe the tears from their face seeing my daughter and the puppy so happy… “This is why we do this… this makes the bad days better”
Ask anyone in that room what is that feeling worth… it’s priceless.

Would I let my family starve to do this? No… would I get my electric shut off? No… but I knew somehow it would work… and it all has. Thanks to everyone who loves animals the way we do… That bond is priceless.

HOPE FOR BRUNO

Fundraiser link

 

kaylaanddad

 

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So Just a quick update on Sir Bruno the wonder dog…

 

Called the vet this morning around 8am when they opened, and he is doing much better. He was bright and alert and met them at the door of his kennel even wiggling his little butt. Still drooling a good bit but in much better shape.

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They are going to discuss taking out the catheter and going to solid (soft) food and water today. The vet stressed they are still guarded with their prognosis because he is not out of the woods yet. But you could hear it in her voice; she was hopeful as we are too.

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He seems to have a lot of strength in him and a ton of love flooding in from all over the place.

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So in light of that I wanted to just post an update and share some pictures

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Follow Bruno on Istagram: @SirBrunobt

 

Or on my daughter’s fundraising page for him:

 

 Hope For Bruno

 

 

Pictures take by my daughter… as you can see before he got sick she had a lot of fun with him… and then I tried to get him after we were both tired out lol Nap buddies

welcome back scribblers! todays challenge requires you to answer 3 questions. you must choose one of the alternatives.. pick the one that you are more of the time. don’t proceed till you’ve answered the 3 questions.

1) are you happy.. or are you melancholy?

2)are you terse.. or are you wordy?

3) are you a poem person.. or a prose person?

 got your 3 answers? good.. now write something just opposite.

if you are a happy terse poet.. Write some melancholy wordy prose. if you are a melancholy wordy prose person write a happy terse poem. Got it?

   yes, this will take you out of your comfort zone.. but creative writing is about growing.. trying new things. you can do this.

1:  Melancholy

2:  Wordy

3:  Prose

 

 

  Ugh so I have to write a happy terse poem….

 

  Oh this is defiantly going to be a stretch for me, and just because of that I will lay it on thick!

 

   All natural…

 

  Sunshine warming…

  Butterflies swarming…

  Soft breeze enveloping you…

 

  Spring time blooming…

  Lovers swooning…

  Kisses soft and new…

 

  A new day dawns…

  Giving birth to fawns…

  Mother Nature at her best…

 

  New Love spawns…

  A child yawns…

  As he lays down to rest.

 

    Yeah yeah I know… it has no real point except being happy but I pushed through lol

Going Dark…

Going dark…      

 

  You know what they say about it… once you do it you never go back… that is kind of what I am hoping. If you did not get my humor in that first line its ok… just a play on my title… if you got it and found it not so funny?? Well loosen up your probably to uptight.

 

  Going Dark according to the urban dictionary:

 

3. Going Dark  
  To remove one’s self from all social media outlets and otherwise make oneself unavailable for contacting. Typically done in order to be more productive.

 

  Now am I going to remove myself from social media all together? No… but I have been doing a lot of thinking. When I go out to eat and I look around me I see more and more people only half listening to the person across from them as they check their phone… facebook… or whatever else they can pull up. I remember a time when we were not so connected, but more connected. I mean I knew peoples phone numbers… the operator on the phone spoke the same language that I did… when I called a company for help I got Joe Smith who knew there was a storm in my area. An honest to god, personal connection…

 

Now before you go getting your panties in a bunch, I love the internet and all it does for me… the blog you’re reading right now for instance. I have met so many wonderful people from all over the world and we keep in touch, some of which on a daily basis through *gasp* email. So I am not saying I am going to shun all form of electronic communication. I am not going to put on a tin foil hat and move to the mountains with my dog Jeb and learn how to make rabbit snares. All I am saying is that I am going to use these things for which they were intended. To keep in touch with people I normally cannot… but not live my life in an internet world. Were I do not know what time it is or where I want to call off of work because I almost beat the guy on a facebook app game and I just need more time.

 

So connected we are disconnected… I know my grandmothers phone number by heart… I have known it since kindergarten. But if you ask me my mom’s home number… my brother’s phone number… hell my kid’s cell phone number… I could not tell you without really thinking hard about it. I mean why should I? I have this cool contact with their picture that plays a song that reminds me of them with their birthdates and their email and it reminds me when to text them to tell them happy birthday I have all of that at the tip of my finger… why remember anything? My phone will give me step by step directions to their houses but I bet half the kids in the US cannot read a map… why should they? I mean really we have GPS and I mean it’s never gotten anyone lost has it?? *snicker* (don’t get me started on GPS <getting people shot>)

 

So I know I am rambling… if you knew me in person you would know that is how I work… I have had some of my best ideas right in the middle of a broken train of thought lol.

 

  So I am partially going black I think… blacking out a lot of my facebook stuff because I really don’t have time to keep up with it. I will keep it though so that I can promote the blog and my cycling activities. But I want to spend less time on the computer and on the phone and more time with people… and my dog.

 

2 or 3 days ago I was in a local store picking up stuff for the house, I looked over saw something and the kid in me started getting excited. So I bought it and went home. After we put things away and ate and all that I put it together and went outside. My kids were looking at me like a dog does when it hears a strange noise. Everyone trying to figure out what and why I was doing, I took my Green Lantern kite outside in my front yard and for about 30 min I was 7 years old again. My daughter went outside and wanted to help and my son stood there making faces and talking to his girlfriend on the phone. But we were all outside for 30 min. Had I not bought that kite… I would have sat down at my computer, checked; facebook, craigslist, email, facebook, blog, facebook, and then watched TV. Instead I had a blast! My kids had fun, my wife even stopped doing stuff inside for a few min to come out on the front porch and shake her head at me before going inside. But that was so much more fun that sitting at a computer trying to remember what I was going to type in the search box that seemed so important.

 

  So yeah I know this was all over the place… but it is what it is… I am what I am… but we are only what we make ourselves… I refuse to be assimilated.

 

 

  Smile… people who are actually looking at you and not their phones deserve that much

Tonight it is a bit late to blog but I was thinking about it while I cooked my dinner so I took some pictures to walk you through my dinner time project lol…

 Before we get to that lets talk about today’s activities. Today the plan was to wake up extra early and head to work and get a few things done, come home and get my daughter and take her to the farmers market to work with a friend of mine who owns a cupcake shop and makes the most awesome cup cakes in the world!!! I will have a link to her web page and facebook at the end of the blog so you can check it all out.

 But like most plans things did not go as expected. I woke up a bit later than I liked and did not get to work in the AM then as I got my daughter to the market I forgot today was a special day down town and they were packed! My daughter was draggin butt a little from being up to late and asked me to get her a coffee and I had to go pick up my new glasses and sunglasses anyway so I decided to do that.

 Getting back to the market I see she is almost out of change and the market is still slammed. So between Niki (the cupcake guru) and myself we get her change and help her out… Niki goes back to her shop to slave away making more edible artwork and I spend the afternoon helping the ladies out making sure my daughter stays supplied with cupcake for the market. Everyone was on their toes and it was a great day at the market. My daughter got her feet wet and really did a great job, Niki wants her back and she wants to keep doing it. Watching those two together is like watching sisters who get along.

 Unfortunately my new sunglasses seemed to have a learning curve because my head started to pound, and after talking to Niki and finding out she had a head ach too I ventured out for iced coffee and Tylenol. Wrapping up our day we looked at her space in her shop and talked about the next cabinet that will be built… I just love a project and I think she loved my ideas and we are going to start drawing it up and get it ready to go on her wall. That will make a great project blog and we will get it posted after it is finished.

 Now I still had a bunch of stuff to get done at work so I went in for what I thought would be 2 hours that turned into 6… it made for a very long day and then I realized something. My hands were kinda shaky and I thought for a moment and realized I had been so busy today all I had eaten was a bagel at about 9 that morning and here is was 8:45 I want to lose weight but that is not the way to do. So as I sit at me desk and think about what food I have at home that I can throw together I put a game plan in my head.

 Knowing I have left over chicken, tomatoes and an onion in my fridge I hit the store and buy clam sauce, green peppers, Hungarian wax peppers, and linguine. Thinking I would do a great quick pasta with a nice easy sauce.

 So as I get home to my surprise (sarcasm) I find no one else has eaten either… oh how that is so another blog lol.

 I cut up the onion and green pepper put them in a pan with a little olive oil…

 

 As they cook I then cut up the Hungarian wax pepper… this is a pepper I love because it adds a light amount of heat to a dish without being over powering… and besides anything Hungarian is awesome (points to himself and Niki). I add them to the mix and let them simmer as I add diced garlic and a bit more olive oil.

 

 Now with the peppers and onion cooking with the garlic and onion and my stomach starts to digest itself due to the smell lol I dice up 3 tomatoes and get them ready. I same them for last as really I love the taste of tomatoes and I don’t want the mushy like a sauce but a bit more crisp with more form…

 

Toss in the already cooked chicken that has been separated from the bone and pulled into bite size pieces…

 

  Now I add the clam sauce and a touch of pesto… a few dashes of lemon juice and with the noodles finished…

 

   Oh it’s time to eat… this is a quick meal that turned out so good… and is a great way to use up left over chicken. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did eating it… the only thing I think I would add next time is some fresh mushrooms that would have been great!!

  Smile… some days are longer than others… but if you go to bed with a full belly how bad could it really have been?

 The wild Cupcake Facebook link click here Don’t forget to like it!!!

 The Wild Cupcake blog click here

 

 On a side note I went to my old blog page and I had a friend I made there visit me not long ago… I was mentioned in one of his blogs and it truely flattered me. Check that out here sometimes we wonder if the people we read about truely are how they seem and at least when it comes to me maybe he can answer that for you…

Kids…

  My kids are growing up… that is a realization that all parents come to at some point in their lives. We always know this deep inside and know that they will not be at home forever, but they are growing up. I look around me at my family and I see people who have lived with their mom or dad a lot longer than most people ever should. I think they become dependent on them to take care of them they get to comfortable with their safety net to ever want to leave. Almost, if you will, like a person who has been in jail for years, and they get out and do not know how to adjust, so they in turn do something stupid and just end up right back in so they don’t have to deal with real life.

 

  My kids? I do not think I am going to have that problem… I think my children are going to be much more like I was… to head strong to know how good I have it… to bullish to think that I just might not have it all figured out… and without enough life experience to care. So like me I think once they get the first chance they will jump from the next extend their wings and jump! I wish two things for them… one; I hope they are scared shitless the whole way down so they are a bit more careful and a bit more cautious. Two, I hope they are able to pull up right before they hit the ground. Then soar then as far and as safe as their hearts will allow.

 

  My son is for the most part a good kid, he thinks a bit more clearly than most people I have met, but his issue is his heart. He does not know what to do with those feelings… he is a man through in though and gets angry and just shuts down… to then later think things through a little and even when he sees clear to what your trying to show him and even if he agrees with what you’re saying lol it is hard to get it out of him. He is going to be 17 this summer, and that scares the hell out of me. He wants to go into the military next year when he graduates and I am honestly not scared of that. I mean with all the home invasions and killing we have going on now hell if he goes over seas at least he will be trained and have a gun on him. What scares me is when he is gone… I am really going to miss him. We have the same sense of humor and think a lot alike. I have so many projects that I want us to do but there is always work and money… and money… and money. But he is for the most part a great kid, very stubborn, very full of himself, still needs a bit of work on how to treat people, but he has a good head on his shoulders.

 

  My daughter… boy oh boy where do I start… 14 going on 34 with the disciple of a 5 year old lol hates to clean… hates dishes… hates needles… loves everything living. With all her stubbornness and her need to debate every word that comes out of your mouth, she tends to be a relatively kind hearted person, which makes very off color joke all the time that she “claims” is just her morbid twisted sense of humor.  Because I know her heart to be much more deep and tender there is more to it. She requires more attention than my son… but being a girl I would expect nothing less. But I think once she gets out into the world and sees life for what it really is and finally gets a hold of it, I think whoever is in her way should watch out. Where my son would just use skill and logic to overcome with a cool head… my daughter will close her eyes and rush in with her heart, mind, body, and soul. And to hell with anyone who says no to her. She will fight to get her way until the last scrap of fight is left in her. Or until she beats them into submission. She is very smart though and when she applies herself she can truly do anything. She is great at sports, music, English, and math (when she really tries); I think she will be hard pressed to find anything she will not be able to do, as long as she can focus and not get in the way of herself. Once my son leaves the house it is just going to be her left… and she is already talking about wanting to leave the state because as she puts it “everyone and everything here sucks” I have tried to get through to here that she is incorrect… that “everyone and everything everywhere sucks” because no place is really much different than any other, and you have to learn to work through some things and not just run and hope to start fresh because things are not so great… you would be running forever. She does not get it… maybe that is a lesson  I can teach her before she goes… and like many others maybe that is a lesson she will learn in her 30’s and sit back and say to herself (never to me) holy crap dad was right. But either way I’ll try and I know she will remember because she is a very smart kid.

 

Kids are the most important thing you will ever do in this world, they will break your heart and they will make you feel like crap. But sticking with it, and know that no one thing is correct or incorrect each child and parent is different the most important things are love and understanding. Remember what is was like at their age… remember how stifled you felt and how much life sucked… and also remember how many time you wanted to hug your mom or dad’s neck and tell them how sorry you were but could never bring yourself to do it. And then look at your child and see that in their eyes and just love them… because in the end it’s going to be fine all this is, is them growing more as a child and you growing more as an adult.

 

 

  Smile… you always want to them to remember your smile… not your frown.