Tag Archive: father


Chivalry

Chivalry…

 oh boy… man I have run this over and over in my head most of the day, after reading an article/blog that was shared on Facebook (why chivalry is dead from a mans perspective) this article/blog for me was an interesting read that made quite a few good points. Other parts were a bit off… but on the whole I thought it made a good overall point.

   Ok for a moment let’s just get beyond the history of the word, chivalry, I mean ok yes everyone who wants to run chivalry through the mud will bring up images of oppressive knights on powerful horses as they do evil things to prove they are great warriors and good knights, all the while looking down on their ladies as prizes and “things” or objects to own or to win over. They will also tell you that it is power trip to show women are helpless and need men to do things for them…  fast forward to today…

  Between our marriage laws and our president it is clear we are far from the dark ages… I am trying hard not to drag this out to much as I can tend to be rather full of myself and try hard to make my point clear 🙂 

  But ok back to today, and my thoughts on Chivalry and even this article/blog… he made some pretty good points about the direction our society is going and maybe even hurt some feelings with that. Some of what he said did come off a bit on the, poor me I’m a good guy side, no one ever likes being friend zoned for the bad boys and then having the girl cry to you that she cannot find a “good” guy… but again that is not what this is about…  I read over the comments about how sexist this guy was… and how oppressive his point of view was… I also read the comments when people stood up for him and said that they liked the way he thought and saw nothing wrong with it… then reading further as they got bashed for what they believed.

  So umm ok I am confused when are we aloud to be judgmental and tell people what they think and feel is wrong and when are we not? When is it we are able to look at someone and say you are stupid for thinking this or feeling like this even though this is your own person choice about how you want to be treated and how you are treating others…

  Reading this… I see respect not oppression… I see values and morals… at least from his perspective. let me take a second and define something this definition is per the ever knowing interwebs : Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s sex or gender. Sexist attitudes may stem from traditional stereotypes of gender roles, and may include the belief that a person of one sex is intrinsically superior to a person of the other.”  so ok let’s look at this and the way he wrote this… I do not see him saying men are superior, in fact he states that he collected his values from the women whom he seemingly looks up to. Second he ends this with women hold all the cards… granted he is referring to sex, but he is stating that if they want higher standards in men they have to make them have them. That today as he sees it, women do not. Again I think some of the ways he got his point across are bit questionable… but no where do I see him saying, what is up with these girls… they know they cannot afford their own food, why can’t they just let me buy it.

 

 Now, holding open the door, pulling out a chair, walking on the traffic side of the street, these things are courtesy. Same thing you do for elders, it is a sign or respect. I mean yeah every guy knows from all the late night “fail” videos on YouTube a girl/woman can take a face plant as well as a man and shake it off… and seeing those men on the tables hooked up the with electrodes to simulate labor after which they are a pile of drooling jelly, the look on their faces was priceless as they realized just how tough their wives were through their own tear streaked eyes… I mean this is the information age, we know if a car splashes in a puddle and soaks us you are ever as able to take it to the face as I am… and we know you are just as able to pull your chair out and or stand and wait for me to sit before you do. Trust us we know you can take care of yourself and buy your own food, we also know that you can buy your own flowers. Knowing that… I still would like to do this for you… because you are weak or because I want to show power over you?  hell no… because I am attracted to you… because I like you… because I want to spend time to get to know you. I mean if you ever want to come wash my dishes, or try to get some of the stains out of my clothes I would be more than…. hahaha got you… just kidding lol thought you had me huh 🙂 but honestly ladies… this is a respect thing. And yes I said ladies… why? because it is my blog and I am a straight guy lol but this works for any gender in any relationship… if someone asks you out it means they are interested… if someone tries to buy you a drink do you get mad and rant that you can buy your own shit and go off on them? sure you can… go ahead… lol but why? it’s an ice breaker to try to spend time with you… someone from a distance noticed you were pretty and wanted to talk to you. and yes I know I will get talked to about why does it have to be about looks… how does he know he likes me… well he cannot see your soul and he cannot get to know you without talking to you, and well he tried to break the ice and do just that but you went off… and depending on what you do next after he makes that attempt to communicate, he or no other guy within 40 ft, may get that chance or want too for that matter.

 

  Ok so now that I may get blasted further… those that are chomping at the bit calling me a sexist so and so… ya know… some ladies… and men even… want to be treated this way.  Some women want a man who will be more dominant… who will take care of them… who will do things for them… then some guys will put a leash on and let his girl lead him around the house like a dog… to each their own lol. Everyone has a different view of what they want and or desire… I just do not understand in the world we live in where everyone is supposed to be so open and honest… where everyone is not suppose to judge or look down on anyone else… where we are supposed to be accepting of different religions, and sexual preferences, different class types, all of the above… those that fight the labels the most seem to be the ones who help reinforce new ones. Who beat down anyone who want to keep what they see as “traditional” beliefs…

 

  I respect everyone’s right to think and feel how they wish… but how is it when someone wants to do something they see as being nice and proper labeled as chivalry… and then others say, “hey I like that… that guy is speaking the truth.” that we can jump all over them and push our ideas of gender roles and sexism and knights and horses on them…

 

  My grandfather when I was little told me to never ask a girl out unless I was willing to pay her way, and I said why grandpa is it cause she is a girl? he said no son… because you asked her… she did not ask you.  Talk about making it simple.

 

  Would I buy a guy friend of mine dinner…  yes… would I buy another couple dinner… yes… do I stand normally until everyone is seated? yes… is this a power trip hahaha hell no… this is love.  I love people and would like to make them happy… sometimes people do not feel they are enough… sometimes they feel like doing things and buying things for people is a good way to show they care because they just cannot find the words… sometimes… little boys look at knights like the hero of a story… and would love to have a girl look at him like he is the hero… why? because he is the boss? because he is the man and she cannot do it herself?… no… sometimes because simply he wants to be loved.  We have to stop making everything negative… in the end there will  be no colors… no genders… just a grey dull world with no diversity and no choices… everyone will think and feel the same way… because they have no choice.

 

  call me sexist all day long 🙂 but chivalry the 21st century version that does not involve repression lol will live on!!! 

 

  *please note that I was interrupted many times while writing this and I am really bad at proof reading… also yes I have a mild addiction to “…” and well this is my blog and I am ok with that… and I have been told over and over to love yourself just as you are ;)”

 

  Smile… life it to short to run around trying to make everyone else happy… find what you like and do it… and above all else… find a way to love yourself. 

The explanation…

 

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So first off let me tell you Bruno is doing much better, he ate his food last night as well as drank all of his water and he kept it down!! That is great news! I talked to a Tech this morning and well she seemed really optimistic but in the end it is the docs call to figure out if he can come home or not. So once the doc gets in and has time to look everything over she will make the final call. But we are excited to have him healthy and to have him home!!

So… something that has been on my mind quite a bit and I feel the need to explain. Not that I have to mind you… but I sort of want to. There are several different types of people in this world; it takes all different types to make the world the interesting and diverse place that it is… also we need each type to balance out the others, because if we were to all be the same then the world would be a dull place.

I am and I have tried my best to raise my children to be the kind of person that believes anything is possible. I am and I have tried to raise my children to know that kindness is not so much something you show to family and friends but something really you should show to all living creatures. As a child I was told I was too tenderhearted when it came to animals… I brought home sick creatures of every shape and size. I wish I have a picture of my mom’s face when I walked through the door when I was about 11-12 and I have a black snake curled all the way up my arm and partially around my neck, with its head in my hand. It had been run over by a car and I wanted to help it… lol she about flipped her lid. But being half country girl half city girl she quickly saw it was just a black snake and knew it was not going to hurt me. We did what we could and let it go… Is it silly? Probably… but I have a question… who did it hurt? Who did it hurt to show kindness to a snake… who does it hurt to show kindness to any animal.

I know I know… many people out there in the world think animals are just animals… and I get that and to them they are correct. But only to them… ask a blind man what his dog is worth to him… ask the kids in the hospital who get visited by pets and animals to help comfort them when they are sick what that animal means to them. Ask the grandparent who lost his/her spouse, and whose family no longer visit as much… ask them what that little dog/cat means to them.

Now do not get me wrong, I am not preaching… I am not soap boxing I am just explaining. I am not asking anyone to have passion for animals or anything the way that I do or my family does. And honestly I do not put an animal’s well being over that of my children or my family.

I have been asked from many places why on earth I would ever consider using this much money to make a puppy better… I have heard that I could buy 2-3 puppies for the cost it takes to heal this one, who might not even make it. I have been flat out told it is stupid what I am doing. Or that I could save the money and get another car (because at the moment we have only one). A lot of people just do not understand… and when I decided to take this on, I had decided I would sell whatever I could, or had to, to help make Bruno better.

My daughter seeing the strain it was going to put on us wanted to do something to help. And boy did she ever… and then for every person I knew that told me I was crazy. There were others who not only understood but wanted to help, with kind words, and support of many different kinds.

How much is it worth to, if for only a moment, be your child’s hero… the person that did not say no and did what they could regardless how stupid other people thought it was?

My obligation… Bruno never asked to come home with me… he never asked to get sick… he does not have the ability to make himself better. When my daughter begged me for a puppy and told me it would not cost me anything because she had the cost covered, and she was going to get a job for the other stuff and I would never even know it was there. Well I’m not stupid… I have been around the block once or twice and I knew what would end up happening. But I never could have guessed it was this. While he was not sick in his short time in our home, he quickly won over our hearts, such a little fragile puppy with teeth like razor blades… and who snored… ha-ha yup and even snorted. The stupid little dog was just too cute. My daughter was in love… I was told that we have not had time to even really be attached to it… I am not sure you can put a time frame on something like that, but we were more than attached.

My daughter has been to almost every charity event I have done over the past 8-9 years. She did not work out in the sun all day and help for a t-shirt… or to get free food… she really believes in the things I do. Be it for MS, or Cancer, Or the Human Society… she always wants to help support me. Taking pictures… giving out medals… doing whatever it takes. With her help I have raised a lot of money over the years for a bunch of awesome and well deserving organizations. I have tried to teach her how important it is to not just give money but time. And to help where you can… she has that caring spirit in her.

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So why would I agree to pay a ton of money to heal a sick dog… love… responsibility… because it is the right thing to do. Because of the gifts of family, friends, and strangers… this will not be a burden to our family at all… because of the love everyone has shown us this is one of the best learning experiences I could have ever give my children and anyone around me. Where there is a pure heart, and a will, there is a way.

mekay

Because there are other people like us in this world, later today with tears in my daughters eyes she will see Bruno again, and the vet will tear up and the techs will tear up… but I won’t cause I am a guy and we don’t do that stuff 😉 and her mom will be blubbering like a child lol… and then I guess I will see all of this and my best explanation would be to the question of why would you pay so much to make a puppy better is… how could you not… the vet is going to walk away today and the techs… thinking to themselves as they wipe the tears from their face seeing my daughter and the puppy so happy… “This is why we do this… this makes the bad days better”
Ask anyone in that room what is that feeling worth… it’s priceless.

Would I let my family starve to do this? No… would I get my electric shut off? No… but I knew somehow it would work… and it all has. Thanks to everyone who loves animals the way we do… That bond is priceless.

HOPE FOR BRUNO

Fundraiser link

 

kaylaanddad

Bruno’s Update…

So just a quick up date and a few pictures that make me a little sad…

 

sad

 

I will to save myself time just cut and paste the update from my daughter’s fundraising web page…

 

 

Bruno update Thursday April 24th

 

I just got off the phone with the Vet tech and it’s a tough update day… Yesterday he only had water and was not interested in food still. But last night sometime he did actaully eat a little. But then he threw up. The vomiting is a set back because he needs to be able to keep food down. The tech is not sure exactly where the doc will want to go from here, so I will be calling again at lunch to see what the prognosis is.

 

On the flip side to that, it seems that the techs have fallen in love with Bruno and spend a good bit of time with him… but then again how can you not J She said that he is very happy to see them and is moving around a great deal. And even with the vomiting set back he seems emotionally stable. But she stressed as happy as he seems, the vomiting is a big concern.

 

He is still drooling a good deal which she said is an indicator that he is still nautious, hence the vomiting and they have injections for the nautia schedualed but at this point he should not need those anymore she said. So again she cautioned me and showed concern.

 

Our whole family is ready to see him and have him home… we are past our lower initial vet deposite and now will be getting into the higher end. Which as it stands now may go even higher… but honestly with all the love you guys have showed us we are going to do whatever it takes. We just want Bruno back home with us.

 

Thank you all so much for your continued loved and support.

 

 

So there it is in a nutshell… I’m a little worried about the food issue and the vomit… and he looks soo sad it is heart breaking to be honest. But I have faith that with all the well wishes and love from everyone that this is going to work out and we can bring him home soon.

 

 

Keep him in your thoughts if you would and feel free to share and or reblog this… if for no other reason than to make people aware that puppies are not safe out in the public untill they are done with all of their shots… not just a few sets… but all.

 

withtech

 

Hope for Bruno Page 

 

*breaking news*

 

Just as I typed this up I called to ask the Tech if it was ok to post her picture… and well they have given him an oral antibiotic and he kept it down… as well as more crushed ice and water which he also kept down! That is a good sign. Also they are going to try more food in a little bit… so I am hoping that it is good!

Ol’ Blue

Butterflies…

 

 I have not blogged about this really but I am getting my father’s boat… for me I think it is more than just a boat. It’s going to be part of my dad, no he did not build it, nor did he buy it new, but for me it does not matter. This could effectively be the last summer I have to do a whole lot with my son with his thoughts of the military looming, and a few of my best memories are of being on the lake with my dad.

 

 As a kid you don’t respect what you’re doing or appreciate it, it is only looking back that you really miss it. And fishing on Lake Erie with my dad was one of those things.

 

 He has said he would come down and visit us from time to time so I think having the boat here and docked in a slip for easy access it will be great to be able to take him out in it and show him around our waterways here much like he did for me.

 

 I really don’t know what I wanted this blog to be about, all I know is the boat is getting unloaded today, I will be there to watch then do it and to see it out of the water for the first time. After talking to my family we have decided to re-name the boat… I know what you’re thinking but I have looked into this and the boat has changed owners and there is a little ceremony you can do and it will be fine… other than that I believe I am one of the luckiest people I know. The man who bought the boat new more than 30 years ago named it “Ark & Animals” dad never changed it and just let it stay… I talked to him about that and he has no attachment to that name he just said he never got around to changing it… so I will.

 

  My Fathers nickname is “Blue” it’s a long story so I will just say that I have decided the boat will now be named:

 

  Ol’ Blue

  Est. 1949

 

 Out of respect for the man I got the boat from.

 

  Thank you for reading this… I appreciate everyone who takes the time and I am glad I am able to share this with you.

 

 

  Smile… a memory is a snapshot of the past enjoy them… cherish them… then create some for the loved ones in your life.

Kittens… Boats… Memories…

Just like our 7 day old kitten(s) I was walking around with one eye open and one eye closed today J kind of been dragging butt. It Felt like it was a Monday today, but I was rather productive at work today, getting things planned, putting out potential fires (figuratively speaking).

   

 Something I have not shared yet is the fact that as of next month I will be a boat owner. I am getting my father’s boat so that this summer my family and I can have a great time on the water. During my father’s recent visit, he voiced that he was thinking of getting rid of his boat because it had been in storage and he had not been using it. So after much thought and family debate we decided to get it. That was a bit of a head ache of its own. Because of the size of the boat it would be considered a wide load, which requires special insurance and permits, I would have to buy a large trailer and borrow a bigger truck because although mine is good just for around here I would not dare attempt pulling something that large over the mountains.

 So in the end we are getting it shipped here and it will be here the first half of next month. I am so excited J we are going to be on the water this year to see the fireworks and are going to be taking a lot of trips to the islands to take pictures of the wild horses. It will be a great time for family bonding and an opportunity to create unforgettable memories.

 

 This blog is not as emotionally charged as my last, but I needed something a little lighter tonight.

 I hope everyone is having an awesome week!!

 Smile… a mistake made is a chance to learn, and a chance to grow, so smile you never really go backwards if you’re learning something.