My kids are growing up… that is a realization that all parents come to at some point in their lives. We always know this deep inside and know that they will not be at home forever, but they are growing up. I look around me at my family and I see people who have lived with their mom or dad a lot longer than most people ever should. I think they become dependent on them to take care of them they get to comfortable with their safety net to ever want to leave. Almost, if you will, like a person who has been in jail for years, and they get out and do not know how to adjust, so they in turn do something stupid and just end up right back in so they don’t have to deal with real life.

 

  My kids? I do not think I am going to have that problem… I think my children are going to be much more like I was… to head strong to know how good I have it… to bullish to think that I just might not have it all figured out… and without enough life experience to care. So like me I think once they get the first chance they will jump from the next extend their wings and jump! I wish two things for them… one; I hope they are scared shitless the whole way down so they are a bit more careful and a bit more cautious. Two, I hope they are able to pull up right before they hit the ground. Then soar then as far and as safe as their hearts will allow.

 

  My son is for the most part a good kid, he thinks a bit more clearly than most people I have met, but his issue is his heart. He does not know what to do with those feelings… he is a man through in though and gets angry and just shuts down… to then later think things through a little and even when he sees clear to what your trying to show him and even if he agrees with what you’re saying lol it is hard to get it out of him. He is going to be 17 this summer, and that scares the hell out of me. He wants to go into the military next year when he graduates and I am honestly not scared of that. I mean with all the home invasions and killing we have going on now hell if he goes over seas at least he will be trained and have a gun on him. What scares me is when he is gone… I am really going to miss him. We have the same sense of humor and think a lot alike. I have so many projects that I want us to do but there is always work and money… and money… and money. But he is for the most part a great kid, very stubborn, very full of himself, still needs a bit of work on how to treat people, but he has a good head on his shoulders.

 

  My daughter… boy oh boy where do I start… 14 going on 34 with the disciple of a 5 year old lol hates to clean… hates dishes… hates needles… loves everything living. With all her stubbornness and her need to debate every word that comes out of your mouth, she tends to be a relatively kind hearted person, which makes very off color joke all the time that she “claims” is just her morbid twisted sense of humor.  Because I know her heart to be much more deep and tender there is more to it. She requires more attention than my son… but being a girl I would expect nothing less. But I think once she gets out into the world and sees life for what it really is and finally gets a hold of it, I think whoever is in her way should watch out. Where my son would just use skill and logic to overcome with a cool head… my daughter will close her eyes and rush in with her heart, mind, body, and soul. And to hell with anyone who says no to her. She will fight to get her way until the last scrap of fight is left in her. Or until she beats them into submission. She is very smart though and when she applies herself she can truly do anything. She is great at sports, music, English, and math (when she really tries); I think she will be hard pressed to find anything she will not be able to do, as long as she can focus and not get in the way of herself. Once my son leaves the house it is just going to be her left… and she is already talking about wanting to leave the state because as she puts it “everyone and everything here sucks” I have tried to get through to here that she is incorrect… that “everyone and everything everywhere sucks” because no place is really much different than any other, and you have to learn to work through some things and not just run and hope to start fresh because things are not so great… you would be running forever. She does not get it… maybe that is a lesson  I can teach her before she goes… and like many others maybe that is a lesson she will learn in her 30’s and sit back and say to herself (never to me) holy crap dad was right. But either way I’ll try and I know she will remember because she is a very smart kid.

 

Kids are the most important thing you will ever do in this world, they will break your heart and they will make you feel like crap. But sticking with it, and know that no one thing is correct or incorrect each child and parent is different the most important things are love and understanding. Remember what is was like at their age… remember how stifled you felt and how much life sucked… and also remember how many time you wanted to hug your mom or dad’s neck and tell them how sorry you were but could never bring yourself to do it. And then look at your child and see that in their eyes and just love them… because in the end it’s going to be fine all this is, is them growing more as a child and you growing more as an adult.

 

 

  Smile… you always want to them to remember your smile… not your frown.

 

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